Burnout
“I’ve got a dream worth more than my sleep.”
“Work hard, play hard.”
“Rise and grind.”
“Don’t stop ‘till you drop.”
Hustle culture. We’re all familiar with it. The predetermined (by who, I am not sure) societal standard that working at 150% capacity is the only way to succeed. Up until recently, it was seen as the only acceptable mindset for entrepreneurs, founders and dreamers.
But as more and more people make headlines, “crashing-and-burning” from Hollywood to Silicon Valley, many of us were reminded of our own struggles and began to ask - is this okay? Is this really the only way to succeed?
No. It’s not. And the more this mindset change has spread throughout leaders and corporations alike, the more we have seen the focus shift to work life balance, self care, and honoring boundaries.
All of this stems from one, very human experience: burnout.
Before we dive in, I think it’s important to get specific about what burnout is. Coined by Herbert Freudenberger in his 1974 book, Burnout: The High Cost of High Achievement, burnout is defined as:
“the extinction of motivation or incentive, especially where one's devotion to a cause or relationship fails to produce the desired results.”
Oftentimes the terms burnout and stress are used interchangeably, but it’s very important to understand that they are not the same thing. Stress is recognized by pervasive feelings of excess; too much work, too many commitments, too many obligations. Stress is often resolved through achievement and getting things under control. Burnout on the other hand, is an overarching feeling of inadequacy; not being enough, not getting enough done, not having enough to give. Resolving burnout can be a tricky and overwhelming process.
via HelpGuide
So where does burnout come from?
While burnout is most commonly connected to work-life balance, lifestyle influences and personality traits can play a role. Here are a few common causes of burnout:
Lack of control. An inability to influence decisions that affect our jobs — such as our schedule or workload, can be extremely frustrating.
Lack of resources. Feeling like we don’t have what we need to complete a job, therefore always having to ask for help, can easily make us feel like we’re a burden rather than a helpful contributor.
Unclear job expectations. If we don’t know what we’re supposed to be doing, it’s hard to feel productive or successful.
Extremes of activity. Whether the task is monotonous or chaotic, constant energy is needed to remain focused — which can lead to fatigue.
Lack of social support. If we’re only interacting with the outside world through our jobs, work will consume us.
Work-life imbalance. A subject we’re all painfully aware of post-pandemic. As it’s been said many times; lack of boundaries or routines in our day can put the mind into a constant state of overwhelm with no release.
Perfectionist tendencies. Some days are going to be better than others. Holding ourselves to an unachievable standard creates underlying pressure that can speed up the burnout process.
Need for control. While I believe needing control is human nature, it’s important to recognize the areas of life we can control and the areas we cannot.
Pessimistic viewpoint. This frame of mind comes more naturally to some than others, but if you’re always focused on what you do not have, it’s nearly impossible to feel fulfilled.
All of this, and more, can throw the mind, body and soul into a tailspin.
Let’s take that information and get scientific for a moment, it may be helpful. The aforementioned causes impact the body directly via the Sympathetic Nervous System (SNS). The SNS is one half of the Autonomic Nervous System, which works to regulate non-voluntary functions of the body, like heart rate, blood pressure and rate of breathing. When we’re living through the SNS, we’re reacting not responding, our heart rate is elevated and we’re mostly producing beta-brain waves (i.e. strongly engaged mind, hyper-focus, the fastest of the four types of brainwaves).
Conversely, there is the Parasympathetic Nervous System. Here is where the body breeds calmness, thoughtful responsiveness and alpha-brainwaves (i.e. non-arousal, rest and reflection, meditative state.)
As much as we can, we want to live in and through our Parasympathetic Nervous System.
Hopefully, that gives you a well-rounded idea of where burnout may come from. Maybe, what I’ve mentioned feels descriptive of some areas of your life. Taking that into consideration, let’s explore…
The signs of burnout.
Burnout, as with any other psychological state, can manifest differently in each individual. For the purpose of explanation however, we’ll look at physical, emotional and behavioral expressions.
Physically, burnout commonly shows up in the digestive system. Stomach or bowel problems, loss of appetite and pervasive nausea can be some early signs. On top of that, many will experience headaches, constant exhaustion, trouble sleeping and lowered immune system.
Emotional signs of burnout are often felt long before any physical or behavioral effect. We may find ourselves feeling more cynical and critical, not only at work but in our everyday life. Impatience compounds these frustrations, leading to complete irritability. Many feel let down, as if who we are and what we do “isn’t what we/it used to be”. This can build into an intense lack of satisfaction in our achievements, feeling unsuccessful, or like a fraud.
Behavioral expressions of burnout may be the most frustrating, because they often feel as if they’ve come out of nowhere and they can be hard habits to break. Procrastination, even subconsciously, is one of the most widely shared experiences. It can be hard to concentrate and it’s common to feel like you’re dragging yourself out of bed every single morning. Isolation often follows, as the frustration with our feelings pushes us to not want to socialize. Leaning on alcohol and drugs to “check out” is when things can get really problematic.
So now we’ve got causes and signs. If reading this feels like I’m describing you, let's talk about…
How to move on from burnout.
First of all - do not panic. This is challenging, but it is something you can and will move on from. On top of that, do not put pressure on yourself to get through this quickly. Effective change happens from empathy and understanding, not through force. Patience with yourself will make getting back to “normal” so much more enjoyable. Finally, you are not a weak, bad, messy or problematic person for getting to this point. Statistically, everyone experiences some level of burnout by the age of 32. It is a learning process, that if handled compassionately, can lead you to a place of deeper understanding towards yourself. Ultimately, that will make you a stronger, more productive and happier human. I promise. So does the science.
First things first, sit down and identify where your time is going. I often color-code this process, so that when I take a step back, I can see plainly how much time I’m spending in each area of my life. If one color is dominating the page, it’s probably where I’m overextending myself.
For example, this week is dominated by work (dark purple). Because I am over-promising for my clients, I’m leaving little and inopportune time for writing (blue), as well as skipping out on my morning routine (light purple). On top of that, only one hour of the week is carved out for socializing (pink) and there is no mention of free time. It’s easy to see the imbalance.
Next, it’s vitally important to communicate how you’re feeling to those around you, and then rest. Even if it means canceling or rescheduling plans, making yourself top priority will lay the foundation for recovery. And letting the people in your life know how you’re feeling, helps take the weight of it off your shoulders and holds you accountable for taking care of yourself.
Here are some more steps to take, after you’ve rested:
Limit contact with negative people. If it’s bringing you down, it’s not helpful. Choose to be “selfish” and protect your energy. (However, this is very much not selfish.)
Set boundaries, with your work, your phone, your family and friends. Carve out windows in your week dedicated to each so that you don't feel neglectful to any aspect of your life, but you're not overcommitting. Be sure to include time for yourself in this planning!
Exercise. This can be a tough one when you’re feeling totally drained. Rest is key, but exercise is just as important. It doesn’t need to be anything intense, even a daily walk has massive benefits. Experiment with different types of movement, and find what feels best for your body/schedule.
Simple diet changes:
Avoid sugar & refined carbs - these spike your blood sugar, leading to a quick and hard crash in energy and mood. (French fries, white pasta, bagels, pastries…)
Eat more Omega-3 fatty acids - lack of omega-3 can make “low swings” more common and drastic, so eating more supports mood boosts. (Fatty fish- salmon, herring, mackerel, anchovies, sardines, seaweed, flaxseed, and walnuts…)
Avoid nicotine & drink alcohol in moderation- It’s so easy to use substances to dull the uncomfortable feelings. But in the morning, those feelings will still be there. It’s hard, but dealing with these emotions head-on helps lessen their impact.
Try journaling. Another one that can feel daunting, but I promise is not. You don’t need to write something profound or even coherent. “Brain-dumping” is something I do often. It entails simply writing down every single thought in my head. It doesn’t matter if it doesn’t make sense to read back, it doesn’t matter if it’s even full sentences. Just get it out of your head and onto the page. Then walk away, for at least five minutes. When you read it back, identify what is a priority and what can be let go of. Clearing the mind allows us to approach things with a new perspective.
Some of these may work for you and some may not. It’s important to experiment with different mechanisms to find what is effective. Time and dedication to implementing these tools in your life will help you avoid future burnout.
What you’re reading here is the tip of the iceberg when it comes to research on burnout. If none of this feels achievable or applicable, I encourage you to explore this topic on your own. In the meantime…
A few more resources…
Depending on your learning style:
For Observers: TED Talks - 10 talks for when you feel totally burned out.
For Do'ers: ECouch - A self-help interactive program with modules for depression, generalized anxiety and worry, social anxiety, relationship breakdown, loss and grief.
For Leaders: Burnout in the Tech Industry & What To Do About It
For Readers: The Burnout Fix by Dr. Jacinta M. Jiménez
And if you’re looking for a conversation, I am here for you. Feel free to reach out at any time.
My final thoughts; just give yourself love. Finding the perfect work/life balance is an ever-evolving process, it’s not “set and forget”. We must check in with ourselves and our practices daily. Allowing ourselves to have bad days, helps us build the foundation for more good days. Slowly but surely, these practices will stick. Have patience with the process.
So that’s What Resonates with me this week, when it comes to burnout.
Until next time, be well.
